The controversy, however, lies in the fact that Hanson themselves still remain 12, a phenomenon that has many looking to the media for answers.
“Look at them!” One outraged MTV supporter raves. “They were just featured on the MTV website. This picture is from last week. They can’t be a day older than thirteen!”
“It's unnatural,” a second critic agrees. "Something just isn't right. Have we been lied to?"
"We are soon going to be selling our own beer. I'm not joking - MMMhop IPA anyone?" Zac reportedly said.
"It's true," a local L.A. Times reader admits. "I just read that the Hanson boys are making a beer. I looked at the picture that accompanied the article (shown left), and I said to myself, are they even old enough to drink? Hansonopoly is much more age-appropriate if you ask me."
It is unclear at this time whether the MMMboys have tapped into some age-defying secret, or if the media has been misconstruing their real ages for some time. Extreme Hanson activists have even taken to spreading the rumor that Taylor is having his fifth child to counteract the allegations that Hanson are still in their adolescence.
When asked directly about the age issue, MTV representatives are quoted as saying "It's a secret no one knows," but declined to comment further on the subject. It's a little bit weird, if you ask us.
*Note: It has been brought to my attention that "MMMBop" is NOT on Boomerang; it debuted on the indie album MMMBop in 1996, and therefore isn't actually 18 yet. Once upon a time, I knew this. Fortunately, part of a good satire is making stuff up, so just go with it. Kudos if you made it this far without realizing the error. I was convincing, right?